Carrying a Lot (Talking Optional)
What you'll leave with: An hour to sit down, a hot drink, and the sense that you're not the only one.
Who it's for
Anyone near White Bear Lake who feels stretched thin: work, kids, aging parents, money, or all of it at once. Or come if you're just curious. This is especially for you if name-tag mixers, "go around the circle and share" moments, or a pitch at the end make you want to stay home.
Why
Most of us carry a lot and rarely get a break from it. This is one hour to sit with other people who get it. Talk about it if you want to. Or don't.
What happens
12:45: I’ll be in line getting my own coffee (look for the guy in the Orange FillYourCup sweatshirt). Order yours and head to the meeting room. If you’d like me to cover your drink, just say so. No explanation needed.
1:00: I'll be at the meeting room door. You don't need to introduce yourself or explain why you came. Grab any seat. No icebreakers, no name tags. Drink your coffee and chat with your neighbor only if you feel like it. Late is fine.
1:10: I take two minutes to explain how the hour works, then ask one easy question: “What’s one good thing from this week, however small?” Whoever wants to answer can. We never go around the room in order, so nobody gets put on the spot.
1:15: A guided conversation. I bring three questions, like 'What's taking up the most room in your head lately?' and 'What's helped, even a little?' Anyone can answer, in any order. There are also cards on the table. If there's something you'd rather not say out loud, write it down and drop it in the cup by the door. No names on them. I'll read a few out, and the room can answer the card instead of answering the person. Listening the whole time is just as welcome.
1:50: We wrap up. If you want, name one small thing you'll do for yourself this weekend. Or just finish your coffee.
2:00: We're done, right on time. Stay and chat or head out.
Ways to take part
Talk when you want to
Just listen
Write it on a card, no name, and let me read it for you
Sit with your coffee and see what it's like
This is not
This isn't therapy, and I'm not a counselor. It isn't connected to any church. Full disclosure: I'm working toward opening a community gathering space in White Bear Lake, where we can host many more conversations like this one. There's still nothing to buy, join, or sign up for. Nobody gives advice unless you ask for it.
You're welcome to
Come alone
Say nothing the whole hour
Leave early, no explanation needed
Come without having anything figured out
Bring a neighbor
Rather not walk in alone? Bring a friend. Space is limited, so send them this page so they can RSVP their own spot.
Practical
Cost: Free
Drinks: Buy your own favorite beverage, or let me know if you need me to cover you
Group size: Up to 10 people, so it stays small
Kids: Anyone who can hear about the weight people are carrying is welcome
Access: Step-free entry and an accessible restroom
Photos and access
We may take a few photos to help other neighbors find these gatherings. If you'd rather not be in photos, just tell the host or wear a blue sticker supplied at the event, and we'll make sure you're not posted. No reason needed. Full photo policy: https://fillyourcup.co/media-policy
About the space
A small private room inside a busy Caribou. The door stays open until 1:10, then we close it so the conversation stays private. Step out anytime.
Host note
Hi, I'm Thomas. I'm not a counselor, just a neighbor from White Bear Lake who carries a lot too and figured we all use some place to put it down for an hour.
More of these
This is one of many gatherings I'm hosting around White Bear Lake this fall, at different times of day. Follow the Fill Your Cup calendar so you hear about the next one: https://fillyourcup.co/events. Or tell me before you leave and I'll make sure you get the next date.
If you're in crisis or need more support than a coffee conversation can give, you can call or text 988 any time.