The Psychology of Being Kind to Yourself
🌿 A free online introduction to self-compassion
· No experience needed
· Just come and see what it's about
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You already know how to switch off your phone.
But what about the noise that doesn't come from a screen — the voice in your head telling you to do more and do better? More achievement, more sport, more social life, more personal development. Faster. Calmer. A better person.
Maybe you've moved cities, changed jobs, started new projects to answer that voice — hoping that in the next place, the next project, the next day, it would finally go quiet.
It didn't.
Because the noise doesn't come from a place
— it comes from within.
And that's exactly where the answer is, too:
a kinder voice inside
— the one most of us never learned to use on ourselves.
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🌱 What is self-compassion?
Picture a close friend going through a hard time. You'd probably say something like, "That sounds really tough. You're doing the best you can." Warm. Understanding. No judgment.
Now think back to the last time you struggled with something. What did you say to yourself?
For most of us, it's a very different voice.
Self-compassion is learning to offer yourself the same warmth you already give to others. Dr. Kristin Neff, who pioneered the research, describes it as three elements: kindness toward yourself, remembering that struggle is part of being human, and being present with what you feel. It isn't therapy, it isn't "positive thinking," and it doesn't mean lowering your standards. It simply means treating yourself as someone worth being kind to.
▶ What is self-compassion? — full explanation on my website: https://www.selfcompassionwithhiroe.com/en/what-is-self-compassion/
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📘 What this session includes
A short, clear introduction to self-compassion — what it is, what it isn't, and how it differs from self-esteem
Two guided practices you can start using right away
Why kindness, not criticism, is what actually carries us through hard times
A look at what going deeper could look like — including a small monthly journaling circle (optional, no pressure)
Time for your questions
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👥 This might be for you if...
You're kind to everyone except yourself
You're tired of constantly pushing through
You want inner peace, but that inner voice never stops
You've tried "just think positive," and it didn't really stick
You've heard of self-compassion but never actually tried it
You'd like to see whether this approach is worth your time before committing to anything
No experience needed. No background in psychology or meditation. Just come curious.
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🌿 What is Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC)?
Mindfulness (awareness) × Self-Compassion (kindness)
Self-compassion is the what.
MSC is the how.
MSC is a psychological education programme developed by Dr. Kristin Neff (University of Texas at Austin), the pioneering researcher on self-compassion, and Dr. Christopher Germer (Harvard Medical School), a clinical psychologist specialising in mindfulness- and compassion-based psychotherapy. It's grounded in research from psychology and neuroscience. Rather than explaining self-compassion as an idea, it trains it as a skill — through guided practices you can use in everyday life — so that, over time, you can actually support yourself in hard moments.
MSC is now taught in more than 20 countries, with over 300,000 participants since 2010.
🧠 What the research shows
MSC isn't a programme that simply "sounds nice." Its effects have been tested in psychological and neuroscientific research.
In a study by the programme's developers, participants who completed the 8-week MSC course showed statistically significant improvements compared with a control group (Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2013), including:
Less self-criticism, more self-compassion
Lower anxiety, depression and stress
Greater happiness and life satisfaction
A stronger sense of connection with others
And the gains didn't fade: they were still present at the six-month and one-year follow-ups.
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💬 What past participants have said
"Even though it was my first time, I felt completely at ease — and I was able to meet myself with self-compassion." — Participant, free session
"Hiroe didn't just teach — she listened and offered what we needed. I felt very safe." — Participant, free session
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🧑🏫 About your host
I'm Hiroe — a Certified Teacher with the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), the U.S.-based organisation behind this programme, developed by Drs. Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer. I've guided more than 1,000 participants through this work.
Born in China, raised in Japan, and living in the Netherlands for over eleven years, I spent most of my adult life believing that if I just worked a little harder — in my corporate career in Tokyo and Amsterdam, as a parent, as someone constantly adapting to new places — the "not enough" feeling would finally go away.
It never did.
No matter how much I did, it was never quite enough. So I kept going, kept putting everyone else first, kept telling myself I'd rest "later."
What changed wasn't one big moment.
It was learning, slowly, that I could be imperfect and still be okay. That noticing a hard feeling — instead of pushing past it — was allowed. That I could speak to myself the way I'd speak to someone I love. That shift, from outside noise to inside quiet, is what I'd like to share with you in this hour.
Self-compassion was never about becoming perfect. Perfectionism still visits me, the longing to belong to one place still surfaces now and then, and three young children keep life joyfully imperfect. The difference now is that I know how to be on my own side when things get hard — and that's exactly what I help others learn. I no longer need to be "finished" to be at peace with who I am, and I live more freely, and more as myself, than ever before.
If you recognise yourself in any of this, I'd love to walk alongside you — starting with this one hour.
Website: https://www.selfcompassionwithhiroe.com/en/
More about me: https://www.selfcompassionwithhiroe.com/en/about-hiroe/
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📌 Session details
📅 Saturday, October 24, 2026 · 10:00–11:00 CEST (Amsterdam time) (+ an optional 15 minutes for questions and next steps)
📍 Online (Zoom) — the link will be emailed to you before the session
💶 Free
🪑 Kept small and intimate on purpose
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✨ On connection, and why cameras help
This session isn't information delivered from a screen — it's built around actually feeling less alone in this. Being able to see each other, even quietly, tends to bring a sense of "I'm not the only one," and that's a real part of what makes it work.
So I ask that everyone joins with their camera on. If that's difficult for you this time, no need to push yourself — I'd be happy to see you at a future session instead.
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❓ A few things you might be wondering
Q. Is this really free? A. Yes, completely. Nothing will be sold to you during the session.
Q. I've never tried self-compassion before. Is that okay? A. Absolutely. This is designed for complete beginners. Curiosity is reason enough to come.
Q. Will there be a sales pitch afterwards? A. No formal pitch during the session. At the end, I'll briefly mention the journaling circle for anyone who's curious — but there's no pressure either way.
Q. Can I join from anywhere? A. Yes. It's fully online via Zoom, so join from wherever you are.
Q. Is this a one-off, or will there be more? A. I plan to host this regularly. If this date doesn't work, you're welcome to follow the group for the next one.
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🌱 The outside world has more than enough noise already.
The answer was never in the next place.
It's within — and this hour is a gentle introduction to finding it.
I'd love to have you there.