Love Your Fund: A Regulatory Kiss & Tell 💋
Most VCs spend Valentine’s wooing LPs. This year, we’re focusing on the relationship that actually keeps the lights on: Your Fund and the Regulators.
On Feb 11th, join us for a high-proof cocktail hour where we peel back the curtain on the silent killers hitting the VC world in 2026. From the SEC’s new exam priorities to the June Reg S-P deadline, the feds have stopped asking what you own and started demanding to see the Blueprints.
🍸 THE COMPLIANCE COCKTAIL MENU
(Check your email after registering for the DIY recipes!)
The 72-Hour Heartbreak: A spicy mezcal margarita.
The Digital Twin Gin: A clear, botanical G&T.
Concentration Risk: A stiff Old Fashioned.
🎤 THE KISS & TELL
Let us help you identify Toxic Fund Traits. We’re sick of toxic relationships. Let’s identify the patterns, look at the hard facts, and learn the Love Language of a resilient fund.
💔 Toxic Trait #1: The One-Sided Relationship
The Vibe: You think you know your startups, but you have no idea who they’re actually hanging out with (their third-party vendors).
The Fact: Under Reg S-P, you are now legally liable for your portfolio companies' security and notification speed.
The Love Language (Acts of Service): Moving from How was your day? surveys to a live Register of Information. Real intimacy means having a shared blueprint of every mission-critical dependency.
💔 Toxic Trait #2: The Codependent Bottleneck
The Vibe: Falling for the same type; every company in your fund is tied to the exact same niche API or cloud region.
The Fact: 80% of your portfolio could be a single point of failure. If that node breaks, the whole fund breaks.
The Love Language (Quality Time): Using Concentration Risk Mapping. It’s about spending time identifying where your portfolio overlaps so you can build boundaries (and redundancies) before a crisis hits.
💔 Toxic Trait #3: Gaslighting via Google Forms
The Vibe: Relying on a filtered, static snapshot (a survey) and calling it due diligence.
The Fact: In 2026, the SEC views static PDFs as operational negligence. They want the MRI, not the X-ray.
The Love Language (Words of Affirmation): Digital Twin Evidence. Providing regulators with live, verifiable data that proves your portfolio isn't just a collection of logos, but a resilient infrastructure.
🎁 YOUR COMPLIMENTARY DRINK CARD
The Signature Salty CCO
For all attendees we’ve got virtual drink cards for a private portfolio mixology session.
We’ll help you:
Pinpoint exactly where you're unprepared for upcoming mandates.
Filter out the operational red flags before they ruin the vibe.
Help you build love language of excellence that regulators (and LPs) actually want to hear.
Don’t let a messy portfolio break your heart.
See you on the 11th.