Intermediate Friendship: Level Up Your Friendship Game
Most of us are running our relationships on autopilot. We habitually hide parts of ourselves to avoid getting rejected, or being seen as "too much", a mess, or just plain awkward. We try to be better friends by shrinking ourselves, but changing yourself for connection only guarantees disconnection. People end up connecting with your mask, not you.
This sucks. It's why we say "we should hang out sometime" and never follow up. It's why we leave parties feeling somehow more alone than when we arrived.
Hiding keeps us from asking for help when we need it, from experiencing the gobsmacking miracle of being held by our community at exactly the moment we see ourselves as least deserving of love. Our friends want to be there for us just as much as we want to be there for them. And yet we deny each other this opportunity again and again.
Spoiler alert: There’s no need to do this. Acting this way never lets us find out what’s possible.
Intermediate Friendship is a full day of structured practice — games, experiments, and exercises refined over a decade — that help you see your patterns and try something different. It's not therapy or a buttoned-up lecture; it's real practice with real people. We'll dive deep into the ways we make and break connection, how to deepen connection, how to repair disconnection. How to build relationships that are solid from the inside out. How to be our own best friend and a better friend to others. Attendees leave saying this workshop changed patterns their closest relationships had been stuck in for years.
"I came into the workshop a bit skeptical but totally ready to dive in. ... the journey ended up being extremely rewarding. I learned new tools for better understanding myself and connecting with others. It also opened my eyes to treating feelings and physical reactions as something to learn from, giving me a whole new playground for personal growth... The team leading the workshop was incredible, finding just the right mix of support and challenge to make the perfect space for this kind of deep dive. Their style was totally inspiring!"
Testimonials collected one month after previous Intermediate Friendships:
“All the most important relationships in my life have become so much more easy.”
"I saw all my relationships were exhausting. And then I started being authentic, and wow, I have so much energy now. This is a totally different way of being."
This is for you if:
You're better at performing confidence than asking for help
You'd describe yourself as "good at people" but your closest relationships feel shallow
You want to be the kind of person who people really trust, not just who they're impressed by
You want to deepen your existing relationships — you sometimes find yourself with people yet feeling alone
You keep having the same dynamic with different people and you can't figure out why
This is not for you if:
You're looking for group therapy
You're experiencing an acute mental health crisis
You're just wanting to learn new intellectual frameworks without actually jumping in and trying things experientially
"Highly recommend this very practical experience with engaging, wonderful facilitators and interesting activities."
Agenda
9:30-9:55 arrival, checking in
10:00 doors close & programming begins
1:00 lunch break
2:00-7:00 programming
7:00-8:00 mingling, hanging out, asking the facilitators follow-up questions
These programming blocks will be led by an expert facilitation team with a decade of experience in group process, meditation, and emotional work. In these programming blocks, we will cover various emotional and relationship topics like boundaries, desire, joy, authenticity, conflicting wants, witnessing and being witnessed. We will never push you to do any activity if you’d prefer not to.
"The activity around saying 'No' was personally meaningful as I have always been habituated to almost always just say Yes to others without giving much thought. Setting healthy boundaries that way and not being in auto-mode will be helpful for me going forward."
Brass tacks
No prior experience required - everything will be taught from the basics.
There will be a midday lunch break and several shorter breaks throughout the day. Lunch will not be provided, but there are restaurants within walking distance and there’s a kitchenette in the venue.
Besides bringing yourself, nothing will be needed. You may want a journal or a water bottle.
Please do not let the ticket price become a block to your attending. If you need financial support for the program, please email [email protected] and let us know and we will help make it happen.
Bring a friend if you like, but you don’t have to know anyone at this workshop beforehand; the tools you’ll acquire this weekend will make you better friends with everyone you meet for the rest of your life.
This event is considered a daylong intensive. Many participants find that they want to limit their schedule the day after to fully integrate what arises during this program. Please consider this when booking your schedule.
In order to maintain an intimate group for this event with enough space for facilitated group discussion, we will be capping admission.
And yes, in case you were wondering, we have a program called Advanced Friendship. (Too spicy for a weekend.)
"This was a great opportunity, and I feel very lucky to have gotten to take this workshop! It is really intentional and well executed. It's obvious that Jeff [and the other facilitators] care about keeping this workshop authentic and that they put a lot of work into facilitating an intentional environment."
Lead Facilitator
Listen to a podcast with Jeff to get a sense for his philosophy & facilitation style
Jeff received four degrees from MIT and spent the beginning of his career in science communication. More recently, he has spent much of the last 10 years designing events for groups — and has created hundreds of experiments and games that open people up to deeper connection without feeling like they're doing heavy 'workshop' work, and instead laughing with one another. He has 15 years of practice in meditation, personal development, and group dynamics for well being, and has facilitated high school students through a 3-week intensive and adults through an 18-month program. He speaks around the world on the topics of art, science, education, healing, and consciousness. His facilitation style weaves together intellectual, structured, & clear frameworks with an appreciation for the natural fluidity and beauty of the range of human experience, from joy to grief and everything in between. See more of his work at bea.st, or listen to a podcast interview with him to learn more about his philosophy and facilitation style.
About Sleepawake
Sleepawake builds workshops and retreats that help people get better at the human side of life — not in theory, but in practice. From practicing boundaries to meeting grief in community, our programs use facilitated, activity-based exercises to open up new possibilities for your relationships, career, and life. Our facilitation team has a decade of experience across group dynamics, body-based practices, inquiry work, and human development. If you have been wanting to reconnect with your own creativity and the vitality of your relationships, this will be a day well spent. Our facilitator bios are available here, or listen to a podcast episode with our lead facilitators.
More from Sleepawake
Sleepawake Immersive is our 8-day Immersive retreat:
For ages 20-35: https://www.sleepawake.camp
For ages 30+: https://may.sleepawake.camp/
More workshops by Sleepawake:
https://lu.ma/sleepawake-events
This event is hosted at the Frontier Tower:
We are transforming a 16-floor tower in San Francisco into a self-governed vertical village—a hub for frontier technologies and creative arts. Tier-one labs presenting AI, Ethereum, biotech, neuroscience, longevity, robotics, makerspace, human flourishing, and arts & music. These floors will house innovators and creators pushing the boundaries of human potential in a post-AI-singularity world.
Apply here for founding citizenship: https://frontiertower.io/apply
Why should I become a citizen?
Be part of creating the first self-governed vertical village
Connect with the most creative people in the city
Get access to all floors, free event space & movement floor
Website: https://frontiertower.io/
Need more reading? Visit https://frontiertower.notion.site/