Sex Ed Book Club #4: With Sprinkles on Top - Dr. Stefani Goerlich
Most of us have desires we've never said out loud. Fantasies we've never told a partner. Curiosities we've quietly googled and then deleted from our browser history. And many of us are in relationships where one person wants a little more spice, a little more edge, a little more something, and the other isn't quite sure how to meet them there.
With Sprinkles on Top by Dr. Stefani Goerlich is the book that takes all of that, the awkwardness, the desire gaps, the fear of being "too much" or "not enough", and turns it into a real, warm, no-shame conversation. It's a sex therapist's guide to navigating the space between kinky and vanilla partners, with curiosity, communication, and a whole lot of compassion.
And here's the beautiful thing: Dr. Goerlich makes clear that vanilla can be delicious and so can kink. This isn't a book that says one is better than the other. It's a book about understanding what you actually want, learning how to talk about it, and figuring out how to build a sex life that works for both people in the relationship.
What this is:
A women-only, no-pressure online book club where we chat about the most important themes of the book, what surprised us, what cracked something open, and how it lands in real life. Read the whole thing? Amazing. Read half? Welcome. Didn't read it at all but the topic intrigues you? Also welcome. This is not homework. This is a conversation.
A little note on the book itself: This one is packed with worksheets, questionnaires, and prompts designed to help you figure out what you actually want and how to talk about it. So if you can, grab a paper copy and let yourself actually do the exercises. You don't have to share any of it with anyone. It's just for you. (Audiobook is great too, but you'll want a notebook nearby.) And I'll be bringing my paper copy because I'm a chronic highlighter and I love a marked-up book.
What we'll explore together:
What kink actually is (and isn't), and why so much of what we think we know about it comes from bad movies.
The "vanilla vs kinky" spectrum and where most of us actually land on it.
Desire differences in relationships and how to talk about them without it turning into a fight or a shame spiral.
The role of communication, consent, and curiosity in building a sex life that works. And the permission to want what you want, full stop.
We'll move through discussion, breakout rooms in smaller groups, and plenty of space to laugh, reflect, and connect. You'll never have to share anything you don't want to. You'll leave with new insights, fresh ideas, and probably a few "wait, that's actually a thing I'm allowed to ask for?" moments.
The vibe?
Warm. Curious. Shame-free. There will be "oh my god, that's literally my relationship" moments. There will be quiet "huh, I didn't know I wanted that" realisations. There will be zero judgment, zero pressure, and a whole lot of laughter. You'll leave with a deeper understanding of your own desires, and probably wanting to text every woman you love.
Who this is for:
Women who are curious about the themes in With Sprinkles on Top, whether you've read every page, skimmed a chapter, or just heard about the book and want in on the conversation. All experience levels welcome, whether you'd describe yourself as vanilla, kinky, curious, or "honestly no idea, that's why I'm here."
The details:
Tuesday 3 November 2026 20:00 CET
90 minutes Online via Zoom (link sent after registration)
Paper copy recommended so you can actually do the exercises!
About your host:
I'm Janine, a certified integrative sex coach and sex educator. I create spaces where nothing is too much, no question is off-limits, and your wholeness is treated as the serious (and joyful) thing it is. Everything I hold is trauma-informed, confidential, and built on one belief: your body already knows. We're just going to help you listen.
Come as you are. Read the book or don't. Let's talk!